Prophesy for 2012
Humanity won't be very humane in 2012. They won't bother to change their whims or ways. They will see red and feel blue, and green will be the color of their envy, and their cowardice yellow and they will tell each other white lies. They will devour everything and desire even more, yet nothing will satisfy them, and they will die for nothing too.
Mankind will never change, no matter what the pastors and prognosticators may preach. They will murder virtue for vice, and God for money. They will make gods out of knaves, rogues and thieves. They will edify lotharios, together with mobsters, sharpsters, harpies, bunglers, bucklers-of-swash, butchhaired mopes & rope-a-dopefiends.
Expect more of the same in twentytwelve.
Winter
Fools will rule in the first month, particularly when Capricorn holds sway. Men with misshapen skulls, underslung jaws and penguinfeet will emerge from their subterranean stumbling grounds and clamber up the ranks. They will obtain positions they'd been quietly eyeing all along. Some will become bigwigs and head cheeses in the corporate belly; others will carve out niches for themselves as mouthpieces for shitmerchants. All will be highly in vogue.
January 31st: As Eros glides past Earth, electromagnetic radiation combined with sleet & low atmospheric pressure will cause several different species to crossbreed. Polar bears and elk will copulate, possums and ground squirrels occasionally rendezvous & in Wood Buffalo, Alberta, an ape with messed up biorhythms will slip on a banana peal (his trainer's excuse) and rape a drunken rent-a-cop.
Spring
Springtime will bring crime levels to new highs in the lower fortyeight. Pursesnatchers & pocketpicks will be in season in most metropolitan areas. They will blame the gas prices for their desperation, as well as pawnshops & their henpecking wives. In Miami, three underhanded Overtown men will pilfer an outsized Virgin Mary statue and get arrested selling the copper for scrap - a sign of the times. I recommend paying it no mind, but instead preoccupying yourself with lighthearted diversions. Play the sludge pump on your front stoop. Keelhaul a deadbeat dad. Kill your first bear. Wear stretchpants and moonboots & go potato sack racing in the night. And in the daytime, read the ancients - Xenophon, Aristophanes, Seneca, etcetera. And remember what Horace once wisely said:
"Well-timed folly has a sweet relish"
And Lucretius too:
"Eject the gathered sperm in anything at all"
...But for Christ sakes, do stop draining your balls in front of your computer. It will ruin your sex life, and besides, someone's liable to find the evidence you leave behind.
Summer
The summer of 2012 will be presaged by several oracles & omens. In Gemini, just after Venus passes by, crows and bulls will be particularly loud and unruly, and an eagle will drop a clump of earth on a tyrant's head. I'm not sure what this means in the scheme of things, but I do suggest keeping an eye out for signs like these, and also for unlicensed soothsayers, keeping in mind all the while what Pacuvius said:
"For those who understand the speech of birds,
and learn from others' inwards more than from their own
We may well hear, but not attend, their words."
Too much superstition, after all, is what drove Alexander the Great mad. It did in & did away with whole armies, ages, factions and nations. And I foresee that come midsummer, on the Rue Saint-Cyr in Port-au-Prince, it will induce a befuddled midget to shit his pants and walk crabwise.
Expect flash floods, mudslides, wildfires & thunder storms in August. Bird flu, killer bees, ozone depletion and human stampedes should also be expected, along with meteorites & dead flowers. All of these things coupled with cost-push inflation will pervade the collective unconscious on deeper levels, giving rise to spiritual & climatic discontent among the populous, and causing many to suffer under the weight of their most nagging neuroses.
I recommend as a remedy taking a reprieve from all the world's affairs. Get yourself in a dark room, and get drunk often on Irish whiskey & Riesling Kabinett. It will chase away your blues, and get you in the habit of comparing your life not with the lives of other women and men, but with marigolds and hummingbirds, with moon and star and any creature or thing uninhibited by self-consciousness. For they are the best exemplars of living correctly. They show us the way. They regret & dread nothing.
You'll understand this best in your cups.
September 5th-20th: As the Fall Equinox approaches, Muslims will be at odds with Jews, Christians will claim superiority over Hindus, and angels will avoid any dogooder whose deeds are stained by self-interest, i.e. by ego - every devil's plaything & the speaking thing for those who claim to know:
"The God that holds you over the Pit of Hell, much as one holds a Spider or some loathsome Insect over the Fire, abhors you, and is dreadfully provoked; his Wrath towards you burns like Fire; he looks upon you as Worthy of nothing else but to be cast into the Fire..."
--Jonathan Edwards, 1741
Yet rolling holy slimedeposits like him will be all the rage in 2012, especially when Libra finds its stride. Be ready for them. Beware of the branding irons they stash behind their pulpits. Beware of their lies. And be leery especially of the love they have for themselves. It is the most destructive force within them. It keeps them dangerous and makes them death to the Divine.
Autumn
Spinsters and frogprinces will crawl out of their personal ads & retreat back to the forests. They will hide high in poplar trees until the leaves begin to fall. Then they will come down and climb into spiraling gopherholes in the underworld, all leading to a desert plain from which will ascend a towering hourglass teetering on a cross full of eyes. It will morph into a mandolin sundial inscribed with Sanskrit numerals. Then it will whirl backwards & become a celestial waterwheel pushed by a bungling pair of conjoined harlequins. They will heave it wholly over a dune & argue it down a long highway whose floor is a fun house mirror. A mirage then will swallow them piecemeal, and a chrysalis will appear, inverting its wings & changing its form into a floating door that opens to reveal a spatial dimension where amputees, giantesses, and bandylegged elves are all entangled in a Bacchanal. All of this will be presided over by a carnival yodeler in women's underthings, and the following sages: Descartes & Kierkegaard.
Look for our newcomers to stay here for awhile.
October 5th-31st: Pay careful attention to the dreams your days are rounded by around this time. If they are vivid and involve the dancing of pagans, vegans, or the bathing rituals of he-goats & spiny primordial creatures you must remember the psyche's intent - it doesn't undress itself in vain. Yin & yang. Ebb & flow. Second sight is clearest in the night. Dreams best dreamt are meant to restore balance in your mind.
November 11th: Unless it's absolutely necessary, avoid cow-tipping on this day.
As the Christmas season approaches, global consumer confidence will trend upwards, unemployment will trend downwards, and the old pastime of attaching highsounding epithets to dull and ordinary things will evolve into a mania. Just as now the garbageman has been renamed sanitation engineer, as the plaquescraper is better known as the dental hygienist, and as the lounge chair is called a chaise lounge, so new names will be created in order to confound the public & conceal from them the contemptible reality of so many cheerless commonplaces.
Hence the cockroach, I predict, will become the jaunty blatta; the Dumpster will be renamed a fortified refuse thingamabob; the small-engine mechanic will insist on being called an internal combustion specialist; and all plumbers will presently refer to themselves as crapologists.
"We strive constantly to embellish and preserve our imaginary being, and neglect the real one." - Pascal
Winter
The Mesoamerican Long Count Calendar will complete its 13th Baktun cycle on December 21st, as the solstice sun reaches the southern terminus of the Milky Way's Dark Rift. The ancient Mayans considered this point the Tree of Life, the symbolic axis-mundi which joins the Underworld with the terrestrial realm and the sky. According to them the creation lord Bolon Yokte K'u will descend from the sky-earth cleft, and a Cosmo genesis will occur. The world will be reborn & transformed.
Some take this to mean mankind will undergo a great metamorphosis; that we will be spiritually enlightened & morally superior to what we are now.
I take this to mean the galaxy may alter its old ways, and exchange its primal mask & cape, but mankind won't change a thing (about itself).
Where the Tree of Life engenders the will-to-survive, the devil does play. The Absurd is the order of the day, and sorrow, always,
prevails.
